Why I am Scared

Picture by Picturequotes

Last night, around 2:30 AM, it came to me, I finally understood why I have not been able to move forward with starting a Drop Shipping business or other business for that matter. If you have read a few of my posts, I have dabbled in many types of businesses over the past 30 years. I placed ads in newspapers, I owned a vending machine route, traded commodities – Ken Roberts if anyone remembers, Amazon Associate program (which it looks like they are kicking me out), and many other types of businesses.

Tick Chart – Day Trading Futures

Recently this year I did day trading, but keep in mind I did do paid courses and not paid and did about a years’ worth of practicing, which I did very well in the simulation environment. I was about at 20K a month which I achieved in just under 4 months. I found a formation that was working for me and I was extremely patient with it. I started with 1 trade a day, move to two trades a day, then three trades a day, which is where I had stopped. Three trades a day was my sweet spot and the plan was doing great in the simulation environment. I finally took the plunge and started to trade for real, my very first trade I failed, and was disappointed. The next day, I tried again and bam, the formation was there, I jumped in, and bam it was successful – I did stop for the day. The next day it took a little longer to see the formation I needed, but it came about and bam, a successful trade. I kept this up for about two and half months, and my account was looking very nice. Just before the end of the fourth month, something happens. Now, keep in mind real-time trading and simulations are different – I don’t care what anyone says but it is true, and there will be days that there would be too much noise and trading can become unstable. Usually, these noises can be in the form of breaking news, etc. that cause fluctuations in the day. Lots of fluctuation could happen, and the things you have trained to look for, become somewhat vague and hard to detect, not impossible but harder to detect. Think about it, just when you see the formation you are looking for, and everything else indicates what you have learned is there for a profit, bam, trading takes a complete turn and you lose. Keep in mind that you can control the amount of loss, but it can be a quick $50, $100, $200, and so on, in one second. Now, it was about the end of my fourth month and something happens to my trading platform, not 100% sure, but the ticks, which is what I used to trade, started to get slower or take longer to appear and it was at that point that getting in at the right time became nearly impossible to detect. I saw a formation that was building, it looked good but when I thought it was the time to get it, the formation either kept going in the same direction or made a 10 tick jump one way and back the other way instantaneously. It was very strange, I even reached out to a group I had connected with on Discord and asked them if they were experiencing the same thing, I also reached out to a Day Trader that I had joined to keep me up to date on charts, trends, lessons, etc. They all said they were fine, business as usual, but I wasn’t sure what was happening. After another a couple of months, I started to take on more loses than wins and eventually had to stop due to not having enough to cover the spread. I closed my account and took the money that was left. It was a short-lived experience, I really thought I had it, but somehow maybe the universe was telling this wasn’t it.

In the middle of the night it came to me.

So, last night around 2:30 AM, it all came back to me like a flood, and it was at that moment that I realized that this experience is what is holding me back from pursuing anything else. Not sure why, but I am guessing that the experience along with my age, makes me more careful about what I spend money on. I have a kid in college, my daughter is next, I am getting older, the company I work for is up for sale and I might or might not have a job in the next month or so. I think the recent experience with day trading and the fact I am getting older, family life, plus my job situation have made me think a little too much about starting something new and I cannot seem to move forward. Now, I know, I have read the many stories about people losing their jobs, starting an affiliate program or drop shipping business and have been successful you know making 100K a month – lalalala. The truth is that on the other side of the coin there are a lot more stories about people taking the plunge and not make a dime, which makes the decision a lot harder. Look I am not saying it is false, and that it is not possible, but the fact is that nothing is 100% certain right, I think decisions are based on where you are in your life, and what kind of turmoil you and your family can handle while taking the plunge. I am hoping that I can get past this fear, now that I know why I cannot move forward. I am not looking to be filthy rich, all I want is not to worry each paycheck if I will have enough to pay my mortgage, buy cheese for my burgers, pay my kids college. I just want NOT to work as hard as I do now which is 50+ hours a week, along with all the stress, but make money, my worth, and relax a little. Maybe take a family trip, nothing fancy, but with the family and not worry about being able to afford it or worry about paying it back because I put it on my credit card at 10% interest. I don’t mind putting in the effort that is needed, but right now I put in the effort each day and I get a check, I would hate to put in the effort each day and not be able to pay my bills. I know I want to get out of this rat race, I want my work to mean something, be worth something. I want to be able to leave something for my kids, no not spoiled them, but leave them with a leg up in life, because we all know life is not easy.

I am glad I was able to find out what was holding me back on my decision to start a business, now it is only a matter of trying to come up with something that will allow me to move forward.

Need to get passed the fear.

Thanks for stopping by and I leave you with this thought, “revelations about life or anything can come at the weirdest times, but don’t be afraid, listen, and now that you know what it is, come up with a plan to move forward”.

Published by iPapito

Strange but true, I was born in San Salvador, as an abroad US citizen. It sounds strange, but you see, my mother was 5 months pregnant and happen to be visiting San Salvador. She slipped and fell in a pool and well, I was born. I am a twin, but unfortunately, he did not make and I did. My mother’s side of the family happens to be well of, and I had the opportunity to live a nice life early in my childhood. You know, private school, servant, nice home, and vacations. Things change when my mother decided to follow my father to the United States and well, that is where my story begins. I started a blog a while back, but life sort of hit and I left it behind, but now as I am a bit older, I decided I needed an avenue to share my experiences with others, while at the same time allowing me to open up and talk like I am on someone’s couch, I guess you could say. This blog will be more like an open book, created by experiences that I have had throughout my life. Experiences that many could relate to and what I did or how I handled it, you know after the fact. You never know there just might be a piece of information, idea, an option that someone could use and it would help them through the experience. Just remember these are my experiences, things I have been through, work through, and lived through – it does not mean I am right, but it does not mean I am wrong – it is simply an experience.

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