When Just Your Breathing Sets off the Argument

Picture thanks to transitionsmft.org

Have you ever just been sitting around and suddenly; your significant other gets upset with you and starts an argument? It seems that whatever you do will spark the next fight, even just breathing.

I am sure I am not the only one, actually pretty sure, but I personally cannot believe that something like this could ever happen. Can a marriage of 1 week or 20 years come to the point that arguments become part of life? I feel if that is the case, they begin to drain you of your life. I have this thing that I believe we all have a life source and I don’t know why I believe this, but I feel like we are almost like a battery. I also believe that with enough negativity and constant badgering on your life source that it could begin to dwindle to nothing. I feel that some people just provide you with the necessary jump you need in life, while others are simply there to drain you of your life source.

I ask myself, how can things get to that point, where anything or everything triggers a fight in a relationship. Yes, of course, some couples go without a single argument, and then there are those that arguments are part of life. The thing is that with time these arguments will eventually break one of the couples or both, and it could either lead to a simple breakup or an awful breakup. I have had friends tell me to seek marriage counsel, and I have thought about it, but the truth is that I feel that counseling is simply an arbitrator that attempts to bring two parties to an agreement. So, why waste the time and money on that, and instead “Talk” which is what you are going to do during counseling. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that there is a whole science behind marriage counselors and they are needed in certain situations, but most of the time I feel if two people just talk, I mean really talk, they can come to some understanding.

To me it is just sad that in some marriages it comes to this point; I mean what happens to all the love, snuggling, passion, and crazy conversations and the talk about similar dreams, goals, and raising a family – where does that go? My birthday was yesterday, and no one said anything, until later in the day. I did nothing for my birthday, no cakes, no cards, no hugs, nothing, it was just like any other day. As we ate dinner, something happened between my kids and their mom, and just at the right moment I took in a breath because the dinner was spicy – and suddenly, she was upset and an argument started. She asked me why I sighed, and I told her I didn’t, I just swallowed something spicy and it escalated – I just walked away. Yes, happy birthday to me.

At that point, I realized that anything that happens bad in the house somehow or other I am the one to blame. I mean I could be in another room and literally come out to see what is happening and I get in trouble. The funny thing is, that when I don’t do anything, I get in trouble, isn’t that just crazy. I try and understand what is going on and yes, I try and search online for ways to makes things better between us or maybe see if I could find similar couples going through this to see what they did. I mean there is a lot of information out there for couples but somehow anything I try just doesn’t seem to work. I read about this in some blog about couples and one of the options is to just walk away, but I really do not want to throw away 24 years, well maybe it is not throwing away, but you know what I mean. I think I am just rambling now, but the point I was trying to get to is, can one person upset another simply by breathing? You know I think that is not just the case with couples, I think that could also happen in friendships. I saw this funny TikTok video where someone is eating chicken and the audio says, something like, “when you see a person and everything, they do pisses you off, just look at her/him eating that chicken”. It goes something like this, but the video is funny, and I think there is some truth behind the video.

Anyways, once again I appreciate you stopping by to read my blog and I leave you with this thought, “relationships, whether it’s friendship, relatives, marriage, or co-workers, can be tricky, but I truly believe that communication is the key to any issues that come up. So, the next you hear that sigh, stop, take a breath, and talk”.