Learning to reduce the number of temper tantrums, can be frightening.
This is going to be an interesting topic, I am sure there must be parents, educators, and single individuals that have experienced how kids are these days – they are quite different. My intention is not to offend anyone, like Gen X (1965-1980), Millennials (1981-1996), or Gen z (1997-2012), well maybe not so much Gen Z, the oldest one would be 24, but you know what I mean. I am going to start with the children in my wife’s daycare which range from about 10 months to 5 years old. I wish I could put up some video or sound to better illustrate, how the day all goes, and compare it to what it was like say 10 years ago or so. My wife has been running her daycare for 25 years give and take a couple of years and trust me she has seen a lot when it comes to the different characters the kids display and the parenting styles – and it is just crazy. Now, this is only from my experience and from talking to some of the parents that have come through the daycare over the years – ok. Anyhow, so, these past five years or so, we have noticed that the kids are extremely whiny and do not like to be told what to do. The tantrums are extreme and sometimes if you stand outside our home, it sounds like the kids are getting beating – of course, they are not, but they scream like they have a pair of lunges.
For example, my wife does have areas in the daycare, for reading, playing, eating, and so on, but sometimes she does need to close the eating area because some kids in the daycare have allergies. When she closes the area, well some of the kids lose it, and they scream like crazy because they want to go into that specific area. Another example, if one of the kids’ hits, bites, scratches another kid, my wife puts them in a time out according to their age and she explains to them that what they did is not nice, well guess what these kids nowadays do not like any kind of consequence, they lose it and cry like crazy. Wait, some of the kids that could speak, tell their parents when they come to pick them up that my wife was mean. Of course, my wife needs to explain to the parents what their kids did. Wait for it, right there and then the parents’ voice hit a high pitch sound and they tell their kids, “It’s ok-it’s ok, I am sure nothing happened, let’s go get some ice cream or something or other”. My wife looks at the parents and tells them, “Really, that is not going to help”. You see my wife has no filter, she tells things as they are with no sugar coating; a lot of parents don’t like it, but then realize that honesty is the best option.
Now hold on, so my wife as a daycare provider, feels her job is to prepare these kids with simple things like how to use a fork and spoon, how to put on their shoes, be polite and quiet during pre-school, and follow the rules of the daycare, and so on. Well, let me tell you, some of the kids do not know how to put on their shoes, and when the parents arrive the parent put on their shoes for them. Wait, the reason this happens is, when the kid is 5 years old and it is time to go home, they all of a sudden don’t know how to put their shoes on when mom or dad arrive. So, my wife doesn’t put them on and walks them to the door explaining in front of their parents that they know how to put on their shoes and to please put on their shoes. The parents once again voice raise to that high-pitched baby voice and then proceed to tell their kid, “That’s ok, mommy or daddy will do it for you”. Then they proceed to tell my wife that they put on their shoes for them and that they will eventually learn. My wife tries to explain that when they get to kindergarten the teacher will not have time to put on their kids’ shoes since it could be another 20 or 25 kids – so they need to learn now. The parents’ response is, “that’s ok, we will deal with that when the time comes.” I have been working from home for the past 18 months or so, and from what I see and hear, these parents are making their kids “useless” or maybe not the right word, but incapable of doing things for themselves. Also, we have noticed that the kids nowadays do not listen, are rude, and many of them have bad tempers.
Listen to this, the parents of the daycare range from teachers, lawyers, doctors, and scientists, and some of the parents tell us that they don’t know what to do with their kids because they don’t listen, they scream, are rude to other kids in the playground. My wife tries and explains to them that she has been telling them this all along and that they need to work on these issues at home, and not just have my wife do all the work. It’s one thing they listen at the daycare, but if at home you don’t follow through the kid will never learn. One of the parents is a 7-grade science teacher and she told my wife the other day that she is getting tired of teaching because the kids nowadays are rude, disrespectful, and their parents don’t want to hear anything bad about their kids or some of the parents seriously do not care – bluntly have told her that. My daughter, I think I mentioned this in a post, has told me that in one of her classes one of the kids started to scream at a teacher and got up all on his face. Also, most of her classes have at least two or more kids that are disruptive, inconsiderate, and in many cases make fun of other students while in class. The parent that is a teacher, confirmed that this happens in her class as well and this wasn’t the case many years ago – this is a fairly new to her.
My wife likes to put together a yearly potluck with all the parents, sort of an open house and this last time I was observing and listening to the parents and if you could have been here, your mind would have been blown away. The kids were running around like wild animals, screaming, knocking down food, drinks, throwing tantrums, to only see the parents try to talk to their kids in a high pitch baby voice – it did not work. If you looked at these parents, they looked as though they were afraid of their own kids. I understand everyone has their way of raising their kids, and their idea of corporal punishment, or any kind of punishment for that matter, but if you are afraid of your own kids or what other parents might think about you, these kids will have problems all through their adolescence and into adulthood.
It isn’t just the daycare or my daughters’ school, but it is everywhere, you can see these types of behavior in all social media platforms, and out and about in the city. Now, I am sure I hit a nerve with some parents – millennials possibly, but I am not saying that all millennials are the same, but from what I see, and hear from other adults like Gen X and maybe some Boomers, heck even some millennials, kids these days are simply on a whole other level and parents just seem to be afraid them – what do you think?
I have come to the end of my post and as always, I thank you for your time. I leave you with this thought, “It is not easy being a parent, but you don’t have to be afraid of your kids, there is an immense number of resources that can help.”