Kids not paying attention
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So yesterday my daughter during dinner was telling about how two of her teachers moved some kids around in the seating and placed on her table a kid that was not doing well in the class. The first teacher walked up to my daughter and told her she was moving a boy over to her table since it looked like she was doing so well in the class that maybe she could help him. The same thing happens a few classes later in another classroom. This time the teacher walked over to where my daughter was and told two kids to come over to two seats next to my daughter. The teacher then proceeds to tell my daughter that she is the only one in the class with an “A” and that if she could help the two kids out. Now I always tell both my kids to help those in need and to never judge and be kind. Now here is the thing, my daughter tells us that the only reason she has an “A” in that class was that she has to work extra hard, and she listens carefully and tries to do all the classwork in class so she understands the homework. Now, if she needs to explain and help these kids understand the information the teacher is giving in class, plus run through the assignments, it gives her less time to do her work.
The funny thing is that I now remember that exact same thing happening to me when I was in school. Anytime I started a new class or grade and we were a few weeks into the class, a few teachers always somehow moved kids next to me, and I ended up doing or explaining the information that the teacher gave in class, which we all got at the same time but because they were not paying attention or not listening, they never understood. That is the thing, I look back at those times and I clearly remember those students not paying attention in class, missing class a lot, or always going on vacation during the school year, and now it is happening to my daughter. She tells us that the kids that got moved next to her are always on their phone, or playing games on their school computer, how you may be wondering how they are doing it, but they probably figured out a way around it. The sad thing is that the teachers are right there and my daughter is pretty sure they can see the students. She told us that one time during a test, my daughter saw one of the kids playing a game during the test and she looked at the teacher, made eye contact, and then the teacher saw the other student – only to tell the kid to close out the game, but never giving any punishment or consequence. She tells me that upsets her because she considers herself not so smart, but instead she must work extra hard to get the grades. I of course tell her never to stress out, that I and her mom will never pressure her, all we want is for her to try her best, but she told us she knew that, but she wants to try and get A’s.

I look back at what had happened to me and what is happening to my daughter, and what I say next might upset some teachers out there, but it is not my intention to and I am sure not all teachers are the same. I have to say, why is it that smart kids need to carry other kids that could potentially do well, but don’t because they feel the need to not listen, not show up for class, not do the homework, or play games during class time. I don’t agree that other kids need to do a teacher’s job, and wait let me finish. I know that there are 25-35 students in a class (maybe even more), and a teacher can’t give the same amount of attention to all the students, because there isn’t enough time in a scheduled class. But we all or many of us have jobs where we must juggle multiple projects, with multiple people in each project, then report to multiple managers for each project in addition to our duties. I think a good teacher can determine which students need more attention. I would recommend that these students are placed together – together so that a teacher can then help them as a group. Those students like my daughter that are working, listening, and doing well in class can be on another side of the room requiring less attention. Now, wait I am sure some of you are reading this and saying, well that sounds like profiling, or some level of racisms, or even segregation, but that is not what I am trying to convey. I don’t feel that students should have to explain to another student the material, while in a classroom. Those students should listen and pay attention, and do the homework like everyone else. Now, I do believe that kids should get together at a library for say, and study together to learn the material, but if my daughter must stop what she is doing to explain what the teacher just said, I find that unfair. Now she must work extra-extra hard to get to where she wants to be and I don’t see how she needs to do that.
This is not something new, it has been happening way before it happened to me and I sort of understand the reasoning, but now that I have a daughter, I have a different opinion of it. Of course, my daughter doesn’t mind and she does help, but all she is saying is that the kids don’t bother to listen in class and when she tries to help them in class, they just want the answers. I feel bad for her, and I told her if it gets a little too much, that she can do two things; let us know and we can handle it or she can simply chat with the teacher and let them know what is happening; that she doesn’t mind helping, but the kids are not listening to her, they only want the answers, and it is making her behind on her work – maybe she will be called a snitch. I told her if she gets called a snitch, that it should not bother her and that she needs to speak up – her responded to us was, “heck I don’t care what the kids think, I just don’t want the teacher to get mad and then I get a bad grade just for nothing”. Her comment made me think, that could not possibly happen, but then again you never know right – I hope not. What do you think?

In the meantime thank you for stopping by, and I leave you with this thought, “Teach your kids to speak up but show them to do it with kindness and firmness. These life experiences are the building blocks to their adulthood”.
I totally hear you, I am a teacher, and I get why teachers do it. We have to find a place where the student who is acting up of not behaving that keeps them from distracting other kids or even trying to reduce the amount of destruction a student like this can cause. It is certainly not fair to the student and happens to my son as well. I don’t know what the answer is, but I would suggest that you speak to the teacher and see if you can brainstorm some solutions.
I truly thank you for your feedback and I do understand the reasons. I mean it happen to me, but I never thought about it until it happened to my daughter. I asked my son and he told me it happen to him, but it didn’t bother him. She really doesn’t mind helping, but what gets her is that she tries to help them, but they just giggle and ask her for the answers. They are on their phones and not listening. I told her to see how it all works out, and if she feels she is falling behind we can tackle it then. Thanks again.