Marriage, Divorce, and Back

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Listen to the audio version – Podcast.

I must tell you about my sister-in-law, I am not one to gossip – lol, but this is a crazy story. I have posted on several occasions that my marriage isn’t a poster for perfect marriages, but you need to listen or better said read about this crazy relationship my sister-in-law has with her ex-husband. So, my sister-in-law was dating this guy way before I met my wife, and they got married about 5 years after we did. They had a lavish, and I mean lavish wedding. Wait let me back up; they met way before I got married to my wife, and when they were first dating, they had started a business together which was a cartridge refilling and computer repair business. This was at least 20 years ago, and let me tell you their business was extremely successful, and soon opened two additional locations. They had cornered the market in their city, I mean they had contracts with the city, and some government agencies, I am telling you they were set. Anyhow, they got married just about 5 years after they were successful with their business, that is why their wedding was so lavish. They purchase a piece of land in a very high-end community and built a 4-story mansion, which consisted of one level up and two levels down, beautiful and the view was breath taking. Now, unfortunately, their wealth went to both their heads, and they were starting to mix with the higher society in their city, eventually, he started a radio station, became a board member in some local government entity, and even ran for mayor of the city which he did not win, but that is ok. They were now socializing with nothing but rich individuals, and slowly my sister’s wife began to separate herself from the rest of her family. Take it my wife comes from a household of 9 siblings, so they all became less of what her sister wanted to be associated with, which caused a lot of issues between the family members.

nyhow, I am coming to my point, within a year of them getting married the husband began to show his real personality, he started out with not allowing her to hang out with her friends, girlfriends, and even was limited to visiting her own family. This guy began a stronghold on her, he watched her every move, and the manipulation, head games began – it was awful. He had her go to a psychiatrist because she was not doing well according to him, it seemed that she forgot her place as a wife and her duties, so she needed to see a psychiatrist figure what was wrong with her. It later came to a point where she could not leave her house unless he went with her, I mean not even the store. The store visits ended because he hired someone to do all the shopping so that she did not have to go out. He told everyone the reason he did that was that he felt bad for her that she had to do so much, let me tell you she did nothing all day and was a prisoner of her own home. If my wife wanted to visit her, she had to ask in advance and he had to be present. When we got to her home, you could see the fear on her face, but even after my wife tried to talk to her, she would deny anything was wrong. The other thing was that when we visited, my sister-in-law was not allowed to go anywhere unless he went, not even with her own sister (my wife). Most of the time we ended up just staying indoors the whole visit. He went as far as to add a full gym in the house so that she would not go to the gym because it was not proper for a married woman to go to the gym. Wait-wait, he added a home theater, I mean with 12 seats, gigantic screen, THD surround sound, a popcorn machine, candy bar, drinking fountain just so she did not have to go out to the movies – no joke. He said this was all for her so that she could be comfortable.

It is never ok, to get to this point.

I am getting a bit detailed, but about the 7th year into the marriage, she found out that he had an affair, but wait it was her fault and she had to go to counseling because she did something wrong for him to have an affair – truth. It was about a few months after this and she decided to leave him, that was a huge mess because she left with about 50K to Vegas and did not tell him, and he caused a ruckus, man he even told my wife that she should be loyal to him and not her own sister. She eventually ran out of money and went back to him, only to finally leave him – a lot of bad stuff happen in between. During the divorce he made sure that she got nothing that they both built together, she only received 150K and nothing else – she blew that in about 6 months but that is another story. Anyhow, so they have been divorced for at least 6-7 years, but guess what my wife found out that my sister-in-law was sort of seeing him again, but just last night my wife’s sister told her that she was staying with him. I lost it because I never in my years of marriage placed any restrictions on my wife, she comes and goes as she pleases, she goes to the gym, she chooses her own clothes – yes, my sister-in-law could not choose her own clothes; I mean my wife pretty is her own person. Somehow, though I am the bad guy in our relationship, I look at my sister-in-law and I am simply dumbfounded.  I told my wife today that we will be hearing soon that they will be reinstating their vows, my wife just laughed.

So, the other thing is that even though my sister-in-law was very rude to all her siblings, my wife put her up in her house after her divorce, even after all that my sister-in-law did to everyone especially her family. My wife is going to visit her this weekend, and my sister-in-law just texted her to let her know she is staying with her ex-husband, and that she might not be available – can you believe that. My wife is just speechless and sad, but she says that her sister is a big girl, and if that is what she wants, that is what she wants. I am just taken back from all this, believe me, there is a lot more story to this, and something are just unbelievable because her ex-husband got away with a lot of things and now, she is back with him – I think it is all about the money and the position she will have in society. What gets to me is that somehow, I feel like a bad husband, and yet I cannot find any reason as to why I am, maybe if she would talk to me as she talks to her sister, employee, or even a stranger, we might be able to get past whatever issues we might be having.

Make the call, you are not alone: National Domestic Hotline.

I wish I could have gone more into detail, but it would have made for a long read, either way, I thank you once again for stopping by and I leave you with this thought, “If you are having troubles in your relationship, you are not the only one. If the issues can not be resolved with talking and your relationship becomes hostile, please do yourself a favor and move on. It might be tough, but there is help out there, you won’t be alone”.

Published by iPapito

Strange but true, I was born in San Salvador, as an abroad US citizen. It sounds strange, but you see, my mother was 5 months pregnant and happen to be visiting San Salvador. She slipped and fell in a pool and well, I was born. I am a twin, but unfortunately, he did not make and I did. My mother’s side of the family happens to be well of, and I had the opportunity to live a nice life early in my childhood. You know, private school, servant, nice home, and vacations. Things change when my mother decided to follow my father to the United States and well, that is where my story begins. I started a blog a while back, but life sort of hit and I left it behind, but now as I am a bit older, I decided I needed an avenue to share my experiences with others, while at the same time allowing me to open up and talk like I am on someone’s couch, I guess you could say. This blog will be more like an open book, created by experiences that I have had throughout my life. Experiences that many could relate to and what I did or how I handled it, you know after the fact. You never know there just might be a piece of information, idea, an option that someone could use and it would help them through the experience. Just remember these are my experiences, things I have been through, work through, and lived through – it does not mean I am right, but it does not mean I am wrong – it is simply an experience.

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