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You know I believe many of us go through an experience like the one I just had. If you recall one of my previous post “When Just Your Breathing Sets off the Argument” it seems at my stage in life or better said the point in my marriage pretty much anything I try and do just doesn’t seem to make her happy anymore.
It is Labor Day, and I wanted to help over the weekend and do the cooking, but both attempts seem to have failed. Saturday, I made grill chicken which I first marinated in a lemon and herb brine. For the side, it was sliced zucchini and red bell peppers, which I oven-roasted and season with olive oil, salt, and pepper. The recipes are directly from Food Network, Allrecipes, or some website so it is not like I just throw things together without putting any thought to it, but somehow they just don’t seem to stand up to my wife’s standards. The sad thing is after 24 years of marriage or knowing someone that long, you get an idea of what bothers them and what doesn’t, you know what I mean. It is the certain body language or the way they look, it lets you know that whatever you did “Sucks”. You know we all come to a point in our lives that certain things happen and they keep happening, but there is a time when you just had enough and just simply won’t take it anymore, you know that feeling the “Straw that broke the camels back”, and you simply say enough is enough. Well, that is one of those days for me, I decided that I will no longer attempt to cook in any way, I will not help with cooking. I will keep out of the kitchen except for washing the dishes, but other than that yesterday was the day that I said, “Enough is enough!”
I don’t understand, you know I hear it so many times of partners complaining about their significant other on how they don’t help with anything around the house, yet when I try it somehow just seems to not be correct. I work a full-time job, and it is stressful, especially right now since I am in limbo on my job, not knowing whether I will have a job tomorrow, but I still find a way to help with the kids’ homework, an adult kid with college issues, and I do try to help with cooking. My wife does work a full-time job and does most of the cooking, but we do both clean the house, and we both do dishes after dinner. Of course, my kids both have days they clean the kitchen, but somehow homework is just too much so they don’t have time. So, I do share quite a bit in the household chores, plus I am the one that keeps the house in working order, you know those little things like yard work, gutter cleaning, spraying for bugs, oh yes, and car maintenance for all three cars, so I pretty sure that I am not a lazy guy, and I do my part and some – I am not complaining. The thing is that once again as I get older, these things just don’t seem to matter, and instead of trying to make everyone else happy, I come to a point in my life that I am just done trying because it never seems to work. I really need to look at myself, take care of myself, think about my mental health and everything that is me, because I think that I won’t do anyone any good if I am gone – right (maybe a little melodramatic). Sometimes you need to not look outward, but instead, you need to look inward, but not just at a superficial depth but deep inside to make sure that you are in good shape.
It’s funny but I am sure we have all seeing the TikTok videos of men recording themselves that they seem ok on the outside but the inside, they are fighting these demons; videos of men saying they are ok, but in reality, they are not. Of course, these videos get a lot of support from the community along with a lot of critics as well. It is tough for anyone, not just a man or woman, but anyone, it sometimes seems that we all need to fit into this perfect mold that society believes we belong in, but we all don’t fit nicely in these molds, we have a different characteristics that makes each one of us special – unique, but that doesn’t seem to matter somehow. I just think I finally reached that moment in my life regarding cooking, which means I will no longer do it, and that is that.
I know that I am not alone in this and that we all deal with it differently, we stick it out, we go our separate ways, whatever that is we each do to deal with these moments in our life that gets us to the point of, “The Last Straw”. I think I need to focus that energy on something else, like continuing to search for something that will bring that extra income I am looking for – jump off topic here.
Anyhow, as always, I appreciate you stopping by to read, hopefully, this was not too depressing, but I do leave you with this thought, “Whatever you do in life, never just stand by and let things happen. First, make the attempt to communicate and correct it if you can, but if not, think about yourself. It might sound selfish, but I come to realize that caring about yourself is not being selfish”.
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