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I was working at my desk today, here at home and I happen to turn off the fan, and when I did I was able to hear the conversation from the other room. Not that I am spying, but it just happened. Now, as you have read a few of my posts, my wife and I well, are not on the best of terms, and this past Saturday was a prime example as I talked about on Date Night – Gone Wrong. Anyhow, as you have read a few of my posts, it seems that we do not have much in common anymore and we simply almost don’t even talk anymore, except when it is about money issues. Now, I know that you may be thinking that I am telling these stories as they benefit me, or better said you only hear one side of the story, which may be true, but I personally am telling these stories from what I see, feel, and happens to me. There are times I do take responsibility, but most of the time well that isn’t the case. Anyhow, as you know we don’t talk much, and most of the time any conversations we have ended up in some sort of argument.
Well, as I was working, I started to pay attention to what my wife was talking about with her new employee, whom just started about three weeks ago. As I was listening closely to what she was telling her employee I realized that the first topic I heard happened to be one that I tried to start last night, which was about the border crossing restrictions. The funny thing is that she simply blew me away and we never touched the topic. The funny thing is that she was telling her employee what I had said, but started to give her opinion about the whole thing, which was all I wanted. She went on to talk about the whole pandemic and how it had affected her relationship with her sister, which would have been nice that she told me. She then went on to talk about the vaccine mandate with federal employees, and that she has a friend that her husband is a Border Patrol Agent, and he did not really mind getting the vaccine but that many other border agents were not and planned to quit. You see that is the sort of conversations I would like to have with her, and these were the type of conversations we had many-many years ago.
What gets me is why does communication in a relationship, and not all relationships, end? I mean come on now, how many of you remember meeting your partner for the first time and talking all night long, about the most outrageous topics, but it was just you and them, and time did not matter. There was laughter, sadness, anger, and so much more, but these were moments that you both shared so intimately with one another. Some of the people I know their marriages ended, because the lack of communication happen to be the main reason they separated or divorced. Now, I do have a friend that has been married for 30 years and if you saw them, you would think they just met, and you know what he tells me the secret is – no joke, but communication. They talk about everything, even when it comes time for intimacy, they make sure they tell each other what they feel, what they want, and even during they are talking. It might sound funny, but it isn’t talking about mortgage or anything, but they care about what each is feeling at that moment and they talk.
The thing that gets to me is why does it happen to some marriages? I mean I met my wife late in age. I was ready and financially stable to start a family. We met at a club/bar, we had lunch the next day, and a week later I asked her to marry me. We got married a week after that, and the night before we got married, I met her mom at a Pizza Hut restaurant; yeah they had those back then. The thing was that we were both sure, and we could not keep our hands off of each other. I mean every day and sometimes twice or more a day. We laughed, we went out, we ate, we talked about having kids and what we wanted to do and the plans, kids in college, man we even talked about how we were going to raise our kids and we agreed on it – it was a dream come true. That all changed as soon as we had our first kid, she changed, she barely had time for me, she was always tired, she parented differently from what we talked, it was like a whole other person after my son was born. Things got worse when my daughter was born.
Anyhow, what I am trying to say is that, I hear her talking to a total stranger about things I would like to talk to her about. I just realized something, in my last post I said something about when we went out these last few times she would turn and talk to the person sitting next to her instead of me. I try and look back at each day, and try to see if maybe I said something or did something, but I could never trace it back. Our days start off with a morning and then go downhill from there for the smallest reason. I am not saying it is all her fault, it could be me, but I try and see what it could be, I just don’t know and she won’t tell me – she won’t talk to me. I just wished she would talk like she does with strangers, maybe our relationship would improve – who knows.
Once again, I do apologize for the depressing post, but I am sure I am not alone in this world and what can we do, what do we do? I know what some of you are thinking and that could be a solution, but has anyone seen how expensive divorces can be – just kidding. Thanks for stopping by and I leave you with this thought, “Whatever relationship you are in, marriage, dating, friendship, whatever you think it is, please don’t stop talking. Communication is the key to a lot of the questions or concerns in a relationship”.