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Unfortunately, I did not work out yesterday as I should have, I mentioned that in my post Dads Bod – Fitness. I think I was feeling a bit alone. It was awkwardly strange yesterday, it almost seemed like the universe was telling me something – I don’t know. It felt like anything I did went wrong. When it came down to working out I simply said “NO”. I tried talking to my partner, but they seemed occupied and not interested in what I had to say. Of course, as you know my daughter has been acting up a little and I have been trying to understand her, but she just won’t talk to me. When we said goodnight yesterday, we usually say we love you to one another, but this time it did not happen. It sort put the last nail in the coffin – sort of speaking. At that moment I felt alone. I started to think about my dad, and how we never did have any kind of relationship, and how it felt like maybe I was somehow going down that same path with my kids. I don’t know, and to top it off, I have no one really to talk to about this stuff. I think maybe that is why I took to writing this out sort of lets me talk to myself without it looking funny (crazy). Actually, I started a blog over 10 years ago, and did it for a while, and just stopped because of everything that was going on in my life. Man, if I would have kept that up, maybe I would be in a different place in my life right now – makes me wonder.
Back to that feeling of being alone, you know, I know that I am not the only one. There are thousands if not millions of individuals out there exactly feeling as I did last night. The thing is how and why do we get to that point. I know it is a combination of things, right. It could be work, financial, marriage, relationships, co-workers, customers, I mean a myriad of things could be going on. Heck, maybe your coffee was not exactly how you wanted it and it set the tone for the rest of your day. All I know is that getting to that point of “Lonesomeness” is tough, it takes a toll on the mind and body. I know we have our good days and our bad days, and each day that we wake up is a good day – correct. The thing is as you get older – maybe it is just me – but it weighs a lot more and sometimes a bit harder to get out of.
It is like losing your mojo or getting writers’ block, then you are stuck trying to get back the mojo or getting the juices flowing again, but it gets harder as you get older, well at least for me. As you get older you go through many-many experiences, and learn from them – hopefully. Not everyone has the same life growing up, right and some studies indicate that a child’s environment is what makes the child. I don’t completely believe in that but it does affect it in some way; I guess we can believe anything we want or break it down to a science when it comes down to it. Maybe that is why there is that visual we have about people laying on a couch and spilling their guts to someone. Is communication what will ultimately make us feel better about ourselves, talking about our past experiences we had as a child, does that tell the story of why we are where we are.
I always tell my children, that communication is very important, people are not psychics; well I never met one. So it is important to talk because if you don’t it is very possible that whatever is happening at that moment will not go well. I think that is true with anything when you think about it. For example, someone robs a bank or a convenience store, and people close to the person sometimes say that the person always kept to themselves, was always nice or they simply could have never imagined they would do something like that. If you think about it, did they know them, did that person talk to them or tried. Later you read about that person posting on social media, strange things, and when that information is looked at later, it is analyzed and concluded that they were calling out for help – Hmm. Ok, wait, not that I am calling out for help – too funny. My post started to read like that, sorry about that. It is more of a rambling of how I felt yesterday, and I think I went into a whole different category. Anyhow, to wrap things up, I felt a bit alone yesterday, did not work out, and well here I am.
Once again, I appreciate you taking the time to read. I hope you have a great Wednesday and remember communication is important, and we might not always want to or like it, but I think it makes a big difference when it comes to our mental health and what we desire – speak out, and don’t be afraid.