Date Night – Gone Wrong

Picture thanks to celineremy.com – good article

Listen to the audio version – Podcast.

It has been quite a while since my wife and I had a date night, I mean at least in the last 5 years it has been twice, which includes this past Saturday. Now, many years ago, date night was a thing of the past, I mean even when we had our first child, we pretty much did not go out until he was like 5 or 6 years old. We were those first-time parents that worried about the baby sitters, you know with all those things you see on the news and hear about we just thought it would be better if he could talk when we ended up getting a sitter. The sad thing was also, that we had no family, or at least local family that would pitch into babysit or friends we can count on, well I am sure you have all experienced it once or twice, but friends are very hard to come by and we simply did not have any that would help us out. So date nights were not a thing throughout our marriage and we only had a few here and there.

Now, once we got passed the fear of leaving our kids alone with a babysitter we did go out on a date nights, but our conversations were less about us and more about the children, then it started to get about our children and money issues, and it sort of just went downhill over the years. I mean, when we went out, these last few times they ended up somehow into a fight, and the next day it seemed like nothing happen, nothing was ever clear up and it sort of just started happening every time we went out. I think back maybe 10 or 12 years ago, right around my daughter’s birth, date night was no longer something we did often. Actually, I think the date nights we did have was more about seeing other people, because we really did not talk anymore, during those dates my wife usually sparked up a conversation with a person or couple next to her and the night was about them. Some of my friends considered her a flirt and that she should not be doing that, but I simply wanted her to be happy and when she picked up conversations with total strangers you could see that sparkle in her eyes. The next day she would talk hours about the person or couple she had met and it would be a happy day – it was no longer about us.

So this past Saturday, my daughter was invited to a theme park, and of course, my son is away at college, so she stepped into my office and asked if I wanted to go to a Happy Hour while my daughter was away. I did not know how to respond, I looked like a deer caught in a car’s headlights because I did not respond right away. Of course, after what seemed like an eternity, I said of course. Anyhow, the day of the date she gets a text from the parents picking up my daughter saying they would pick up my daughter later, so it pushed out our date night. I knew then it was not looking good. An hour before they were supposed to pick up my daughter, they text my wife and told her it would be another 30 minutes, so of course that did upset her and sort of blew away that happy hour deals, you know what I mean. Eventually, they picked up my daughter and we headed out. As we walked in and sat at the bar, my wife’s chair was broken, so she had to switch it out, which made it another sign of things to come. We settle in and the bar assistant gave us a basket of chips and salsa, and we asked if we could get a drink menu. He looked at us funny and said that happy hour was done in 5 minutes, and proceeded to give us a happy hour menu, of course, he walked by again and gave us a regular menu. We sat there waiting and no one approached us, I think they were playing dumb so that they would not give us the price on the happy hour menu, which was totally fine by us, but they still did not approach us. They kept walking by us and when a new couple sat next to us and they took their order, the bar assistant noticed and walked over and asked if we were ready, we said yes. Now the bartender that took the order of the couple next to us just stood near the side, and never approached us. The bar assistant had to walk up to one of the bartenders to let them know we were ready. The bartender came up to us with attitude, we both said hello, asked how she was doing and she said fine. We gave her our orders, and she proceed to make them. It took a good 10 minutes to get a margarita house special and a mule. They were both horrible, and we just could not understand what was happening.

Left picture is the Ahi Tune appetizer and the right picture is the Trio Enchiladas

We sat there looking at the menu, ready to order some food, and it was sometime after finally another bartender approached us and asked if we were ready, we said yes and order some appetizers to start. I and my wife asked the bartender how he was and he responded fine. He placed the order and we received the amazing appetizers – pictured above. Anyhow wait for this, my wife gets a text from our next-door neighbor asking her if everything was ok, because our dog would not stop barking, and howling. You see the neighbors believe dogs should not bark, they have two and you barely ever hear them. She texted him back to let him know we were out on a date, this was at 6:45 pm. Of course, that pissed of my wife and me, we both started to get mad, we could not believe what was happening. It wasn’t like we were out at midnight and the dog was making a ruckus. It definitely put a damper on the date, and I just sat there looking at the TV and she was looking around like she wanted to disappear – you know that look and body language. During all this, I had another drink and she had another drink, and we ended up ordering dinner. The food was tasty, but it was cold, which surprised us both because the place we went to was a classy joint. Keep in mind that now it was around 7:30, we were just in about one hour and a half into our date night and it was shot to hell.

So, we sat there a few more minutes, and no one was asking us for refills, so we decided to close out, well guess what it took another 15 minutes at least to get someone’s attention. We placed our credit card in the glass along with the bill, so it was visible. The bartender closed out the couple next to us, and my wife was a little annoyed by now, taped her nails at the bartender to get her attention. I told her that was not the thing to do, I know I worked in the service industry, plus you could see the bartender’s disapproval. She grabbed the card and bill, ran it, and threw the bill at us – no joke, walked away, and I said out loud, “That was rude and unnecessary” – I do believe she heard. We were there for 1 hour and 45 minutes, and the bill was nearly $200. We headed to the car, the valet grabbed my ticket and went to get my car, he got there and told me that he loved my car and that he wanted one. I told him I loved my car and it was a nice drive – I think that was the highlight of my night.

When we got home, we could hear our dog barking like a crazy dog, and howling, which we never heard her do. It was an end to the end and we just went to change out of our clothes and headed towards the couch. My daughter got home a few hours later and we all headed to bed. Date night was a flop, a disaster, and I think it will be the last one because it just doesn’t seem like we connect anymore and the littlest things trigger us. You know the sad thing about all this is that the very next day she acts as if nothing happened – business as usual. I on the other hand was extremely sad, depressed, and very angry – all at the same time.

Well, I am glad you took a minute to read my post and as always I try and leave you with a thought and this one will hit close to my heart so here it goes, “Please, keep date night and never let fear or other obligations stop you from enjoying each other’s company as you did before. I know sometimes we might not have someone to watch the kids or pets, but find a way and have a date night at least once a week – you will both be better for it and the relationship will be better for it”.