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I saw this title and immediately remembered a friend I had once back in high school, and I thought to myself, man if he was still alive, I am sure we would have been hell-off friends. Here is the story.
During high school, as I am sure many of you also experienced, I was a nerd and really awkward. Never had much chance with the ladies. I mean I did join football with the intention to try and be more popular, you know, with the ladies, but that still didn’t work. I was the one kid in class that teachers loved, and the jocks always looked for to help out with homework. Well, the thing is that I had a close friend the first two years of high school that help me out. I mean we were inseparable, and people even though we were brothers. We did everything together, went to football games, basketball games, rode our bikes to the beach, played basketball and pretty much hung out all summer long. Whether he was at my house, or I was at his house. My mom would treat him just like another son, and the same thing with his mom. Anytime I went over she would ask if I was going to spend the night or stay for dinner. I mean I remember a few times where my mom would take us shopping for clothes and she would ask for my friend and buy him stuff too. Of course, his mom was the same way with me. It was an amazing friendship, and we always told each that we would be friends forever. We even joked about our kids and that we would be the godparents for each other, it was funny what we talked about at such an early age. I know and I feel it in my heart right now, even back then when I was a young teen, that we would have been friends till we grew old. The sad thing is, that he lost his life one night after a high school football game.
You see, one night we both went to a football game, and every time after the game, I would either go to his house or he would head over to mine. I am not sure about that one night and why we both decided to go our separate ways after the game. Even to this day, I can’t comprehend why we decided that night after all the prior times of hanging out together after the game. I am not sure if anyone has had a friend that just made a huge impact in their lives, you know that one friend that was there for you in thick and thin, a friend that would make you laugh, help with homework, and never ever judge you. The type of friend that would ride his bike 50 plus miles to go you see you because you had to move. A friend that when you went to those school dances, made sure you had fun and a friend that would have your back in an instant if anyone ever tried to start something. I think, I feel, and I believe that if he was still alive today, our families would be tight, and I know that I would mentally be a lot better having him there to listen, support, and do the crazy things I like to do, you know the friend that matches your energy – that was him.
So, one evening after a football game at school, for whatever reason we decided to go our separate ways after the game, and I would have never imagined what that night would bring to me and his family. I remember getting home, and my mom asked if Jermy was coming, and I said no. She did ask why, but the conversation sort of ended. As I was getting ready to go to sleep, I remember our house phone ringing. When my mother answered her voice was happy, she knew the person on the line, it was Jermy’s mom, but then my mom’s facial expression changed, and she began to cry intensely. When she handed me the phone, all I remember was a lot of mumbling and hysterical crying. I sort of phased out and I felt like I left my body. I stood there like a statue not knowing what to do, say, act – I was in shock. You see after the game my friend Jermy headed home, and while he was walking a car was racing and swerved out of control, running him over. On one side of the campus, there is a slight upward slope, and the school built a retaining wall on that side. According to the police he was hit so hard that he flew nearly 50 feet into that wall and died on impact. It was later discovered that the car was being driven by one of the high school students that just left the game and was under the influence. There were 4 teens in the car, plus the driver, and all four teens died except the driver and of course my friend Jermy. I ask myself what would have happened if I decided to go to his house, or what if he decided to go to my house as we have always done. I think back and sometimes blame myself for what happened, but his mom made sure that I did not feel guilty. During the remaining years in high school, I would still go over to her house once in a while and visit, where we would chat and reminisce about Jermy. I never really knew how to act around her, how to console her. I even thought maybe I was just bringing back memories that would hurt her. Eventually, I graduated, and I heard that she moved out of state, and I never heard from her again.
So, as I think of the title of my post, I immediately think about Jermy. I know that would have been a friendship, without a doubt, that I wish I had.
Thank you for stopping by and like always I try and leave you with a thought and this one is by Wendy Feireisen, “You don’t get over it, you get through it… It doesn’t get better, it gets different…Every day, just like me, Grief puts on a new face.“